I recently went to an exclusive singles party. I was there to do business, and I am not sure what my boyfriend was doing there, but it was wonderful to have him around – he works in Europe and is away for extended periods of time. It was a good party; the music was great, food excellent and the crowd “classy”.
Just a little over an hour into the party, I noticed that everyone was gravitating towards one corner of the room. I could not immediately see what was happening from where we were sitting, so I got up to go take a look. Two women, one a white blonde and the other black were on the dance floor doing their thing and standing around were what looked like all the good looking men at the party, except mine of course, who was sitting in another corner animatedly talking and laughing – he’s got me what can I say.
Anyways, these two women were obviously enjoying themselves and having the time of their lives. But what I found quite interesting was that both women were what society calls “plus size” and not exactly “plus size” model type either. They were two average looking women laughing and graciously flirting with the male moths light-struck in their glow. They were getting all the male attention from the men we would typically think wouldn’t be attracted to women their size especially when there were many other petite good-looking women in the room.
What was their secret? Two words – SEXUAL MAGNETISM
Whether you know it or not the way you see yourself sexually affects every aspect of your life. It affects how you walk on the street, how you talk to your boss, how you respond to stress, how you relate to others and even how you pursue success.
People with poor sexual self-image tend to overcompensate in those areas they are more confident in. They are on a constant drive for accomplishment and external approval. They often try to belittle or down play their sexual expectations and have a tendency to resist acknowledging or expressing their emotions. The extroverted ones over project and exaggerate their sexual desirability. They try to assert themselves and their presence by doing everything in “larger than life” style. But their “macho” or “sexy” self-image is the opposite of what is happening on the outside.
People blessed with enormous charm and sexual charisma on the other hand don’t flaunt it with low necklines or ass-hugging jeans. They may not even have a charismatic personality and are not necessarily seducers but everywhere they go both men and women fall under the spell of their seductive aura. They attract the opposite sex like bees to honey. It is simply hard to resist getting a discreet glance and sometimes we don’t even know why. These people don’t seem to age and race has no bearing on the power of their magnetism. They kind of command attention, affection and respect without asking for it. They look like they are truly happy.
So what is this mystical thing we call sexual magnetism?
Sexual magnetism is often confused with “sexy’ or the “exotic” – whatever these words mean – and because of that many think it is something you do, something you buy with money, something a sexual partner gives you or even something you get from travel to some ‘exotic” part of the world.
Sexual magnetism is not about a perfect body, bigger boobs or bigger male organ. If you do not believe me, tell someone who thinks they have big boobs or big organ that you do not think it is that big anyway and watch their self-image take a downward dive. Not to mention that there are some men and women who are less-endowed in the looks department but ooze sexual magnetism.
Sexual magnetism is not about what you wear or the kind of car you drive. Wearing a secret little number underneath your clothes or driving a sleek car can help boost your sexual confidence but only when you already have it. Take away the lingerie (eventually you have to take it off anyway) or the car and all that is left is the same inadequate insecure small self.
Sexual magnetism is not something you get in Mexico, Thailand or on an African Safari. I know some of you are thinking who are you kidding, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got their African “juju”. You can go to these “exotic” places with an uptight, single-minded and sex repressed attitude and return even more confused and paranoid because the “sexual openness” you found there will have rattled your beliefs about sexuality and sex.
Sexual magnetism is not about learning sex techniques or bedroom tricks – although knowing what to do in the bedroom just like lingerie or sports car can boost your sexual confidence – it is not what sexual magnetism is all about . Sexual magnetism is not even necessarily about sex.
Sexual magnetism is more than sex appeal. People with great looks, incredible talent, immense power, extreme wealth, above average intelligence and even the notorious “bad boys” can all have sex appeal but they are not necessarily sexually confident and do not necessarily have sexual magnetism.
Sexuality is about overall feelings of wellbeing. From the time we are born to the time we die, we are sexual beings with sexual bodies whether or not we are engaged in a sexual act or behaviour. Sexuality is a natural, healthy, life-long part of being human. It is an integral and powerful influence on our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing.
Sexual magnetism is about being COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SEXUAL BODY AND SEXUAL ROLE. It is the dynamic, free and spontaneous response of your own inner man or woman. It is about power, and that power comes from knowing who you really are, what’s right for you and what you can bring to any encounter whether it be sexual, social or business.
Sexual magnetism is about being COMFORTABLE AROUND THE OPPOSITE SEX. It is about walking into any situation knowing that you ‘rock”, voicing your opinion knowing that it will be highly valued by others, asking for what you want without fear of rejection or failure. It is the ability to truly let go and experience life full. It is about being fully present body, mind and spirit – moment to moment.
Sexual charisma is like a MAGNET. If you’ve got it, you’ll draw people to you.
So how does one get sexual charisma?
Develop a sex-positive attitude
Unlearn your guilt about your sexual body and sexual desires. Give yourself the permission to really celebrate what you have inside of yourself and develop the emotional and social skills you need to be able to share your real self with your sexual partner and with the rest of the world.
Know your sexual body
The greatest knowledge you can have when it comes to sexuality is how your body responds to its sexual, social or business environment. If you’ve been living in your head, get back into your body and fully inhabit it. It is not what the body can do for you but what you can do with the body that gives you the sexual magnetism you long for.
Develop your own individual style
Your sexual magnetism is a unique, individualized expression of self. Knowing that you’re uniquely and wonderfully created is saying, “I like who I am and I know you will like me too”. Develop the kind of attitude that get people all excited just thinking of talking to you or getting to see you again.
Be spontaneous and unpredictable
Spontaneity and unpredictability are the soul of sexual charisma and it’s what keeps other people fascinated by you. Work on developing spontaneity in your emotional manifestations by taking actions in each moment that are driven by your inner awareness. Let go of contriving, scheming, pretense and living in self-distrust. Tap into your subconscious and set your imagination free. Let your hair down and discover your wild side.
Learn to enjoy life
Many of us are too rushed to enjoy life, too confused to be simple, too rich to have enough, too worried to be healthy, too ungrateful to be happy, too afraid to love, and too controlling to be free. Your sexual magnetism depends on your ability to let go and be in the moment. But in order to enjoy the moment you have to learn to appreciate it. Develop an attitude of thankfulness in spite and despite of your current circumstances.
Become interested in other people
Sexual magnetism is not about a superior attitude or blowing your own horn, it is about listening and making other people comfortable talking about themselves. Work on being someone who is interested rather than worry about being interesting.
Surround yourself with good friends
There are few things in this world that can make you feel like a million bucks – a good friend is one of those things. A good friend is that person who gives you the courage and strength to get out there and conquer the world. Cultivate lots of different friendships with both men and women – especially single ones. Having lots of friends of the opposite sex is a great way to learn about the opposite sex, it’s better than anything you read in books which is only other people’s opinions.
Enhance your spiritual awareness
The journey towards your sexual embodiment is also the journey towards your spiritual enlightenment. Sex and Spirit are inseparable. Do not concentrate on developing one and ignore the other. When you neglect one the other will be distorted.
Begin vibrating this powerful magnetic energy and watch how people suddenly begin noticing and gravitating towards you.